What is Maturity?

The other day when Mzwandile Gazu was preaching about sex, he asked a certain brother to interpret. Mzwandile explained that he needed a mature man to interpret for him. If he had one of the immature young men interpreting, they would have been laughing and embarrassed the whole time, but this man is not ashamed to speak about anything God wants talked about and he knows how to treat it properly. God wants us to be mature. In 1 Corinthians 2:6 we read, “Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away.” This indicates that if we are not mature, we cannot fully understand the wisdom of God. Again in 1 Corinthians 14:20, “Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” So God wants us to grow into maturity.

What is maturity? The Bible actually does not define it, but we get a good idea from Hebrews 5:14 — “But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” A mature person is one who has learned by "constant practice" to "distinguish good from evil."

I found a long definition of maturity that I think embodies this with some specific examples. I do not know who the author is, but I found it at http://www.storybin.com/words/words132.shtml (no longer available). Obviously it is not inspired by God, but it hard to argue with what it says.

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.

What do children do when they have disagreements? They see who can hit harder, right? But as we mature, we must learn to control ourselves and find other ways to settle our differences when there are other ways available. We must learn to distinguish good from evil.

Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of the long-term gain.

My grandfather would say that this is the definition of wisdom — looking at the future consequences of our actions. Children cannot do that well, but we must learn this as we grow if we are to truly mature.

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging set-backs. Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

A child will usually go through a stage where he or she constantly says, "I can't," when told to do something, especially something they have not done before. Parents must help them to outgrow that stage and press on to maturity. Often adults are no better. We make excuses why we cannot do something that is difficult or that we have not done before. A mature person decides whether or not it is worth the effort, then puts as much effort into the project as it requires to finally finish.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

I like this one. A mature person is not concerned with winning an argument, he or she is concerned with being right. If it takes correction from others to become right, then a mature person welcomes that correction and readily admits that they were wrong. That is difficult, but who ever said being mature was easy?

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities; then they do nothing. Maturity means dependability, keeping one's word, coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of the alibi. They are the confused and the disorganized. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business, and good intentions that somehow never materialize.

Many of us have trouble just making a decision in the first place. Then to stick with that decision as time goes by and our desires and pressures change is really hard. I know too many immature adults in this category. Sometimes I am in that category myself.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed — and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Don't worry, be happy." Basically this says that we should not worry about anything — because if we can't do anything about it, we shouldn't worry about it and we can do something we should do something about it instead of worrying. From a biblical point of view, we should cast all our cares on Christ (1 Peter 5:7) instead of worrying about them, but that does not mean that we should not take care of those things we can fix.

Although Wikipedia is far from perfect, I do like their short definition of maturity. (Note that the article has been changed since I copied it.)

Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate that a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maturity_(psychological)

Who do you think of as a mature person? I think of someone who knows what is serious and what is not and deals with serious things in a serious way. I do not think of someone who laughs at serious things.

I was at a gospel meeting one time when the preacher was illustrating a point about hate with a personal example. He said, "I hated that man so much that I wanted to kill him." A lot of people laughed at that. It is hard to imagine that particular man hating someone like that, but he was serious and sin is a serious thing not to be laughed at.

I think of someone who knows what is important and what is not. Parents are constantly in a struggle with their teenage children to get them to learn this. A mature person does not listen to music instead of doing their homework. They might listen to music while doing their homework (as I used to do), but with many teenagers these days, listening to music is an exclusive activity.

When I was living in Birmingham, Alabama, USA, I had a the good fortune of being able to teach the gospel to three children in a poor family in downtown Birmingham. One thing that really struck me about their home was that while their house was falling apart and they did not have good food, they had a huge screen TV in their den. I may being too judgmental, but it seems like their mother did not know what was important.

Let's look at some examples of maturity and immaturity from the scriptures. In 1 Samuel 25 we find the story of when David was hiding from Saul and he was in the territory of a man named Nabal. David's men protected Nabal's shepherds while they were there. When David sent some men to ask Nabal for food, Nabal refused even though he had plenty. David was so angry, he was going to kill Nabal. That shows some immaturity on David's part. Thankfully, Nabal's wife, Abigail, was a mature woman and she was able to cool David down and keep him from sinning by killing Nabal. David showed some maturity in recognizing that he was wrong and thanking Abigail for stopping him. In Matthew 16:21-23, we see Peter being immature and Jesus showing maturity. Of course Jesus is the perfect example of maturity. He understood what was important and what was not. He treated serious things seriously. He did not seek glory, but was glorified because of his service to us.

As you can see, maturity is not something that you just happen to get one day and then you have it for the rest of your life. Sometimes men who are mature in some ways are still immature in other ways. We need keep growing in our maturity.

We need to learn how to act properly in the circumstances. We need to learn to treat serious things in serious ways. We need to learn how to distinguish the important from the unimportant. Then we can receive the wisdom of God — the meat that the Bible has to offer.